Reflections & Changes

Today, Dec 27th, 2011...is a day of reflection.

On Sunday at Christmas dinner, my daughter asked everyone, "What are you doing for 2012? What are your plans, resolutions? I didn't really have an answer. This was a rough month in every way.

I think the worst for me was Anna, losing her life under such brutal circumstances. I never met Anna, I don't know a lot of the family on the Reilly side.

I was angry at God! When I pray, I truly believe that God hears, and I EXPECTED Him to heal her, not just bring her back and have her be in a vegetative state, but to bring her back wholly, full of life and with a testimony for the kingdom.

I was so very angry when she passed away. I felt it like a blow to my heart and my faith, like it was when Mom died. I had prayed and believed for 11 years that she would be healed in a very awesome manner, and her life would continue on and be even more productive for God than it had been in the past.

Silly woman that I can be, for "a fool is wise in his own eyes", I had a pity party and told God "Fine, you don't want to answer my prayers! You answer the little ones, but not the major ones that mean so much to everyone and would be such a blessing for your own kingdom!"

Afterwards, I had a lot of repenting to do.

I DO serve an wonderful God and He DOES answer prayers, but according to His will, and His will was that Anna would be with Him.

I did notice a comment that stood out to me on Facebook, that this tragedy that had happened had pulled family together. And that is true. One of the desires of my heart has been to get to know more of my family. It was lonely growing up.

As I look at the photos being posted, and see the growing numbers of the Reilly side of the family, and that they are reaching out to include me as well, it feels good.
It is also a very huge bonus that many of them are Christians.

So for 2012, I would like to begin a new blog here, and try to journal the things and thoughts that God is teaching me, and perhaps sharing with others. Instead of on Facebook.